“Inclusion vs. Exclusion” Language (by Big Al)

This is my worst skill.

I need to work on this the most. I
certainly am not an expert here, but I
am a work in progress.  🙂

Maybe this proves that we don’t have to
be top level experts in every skill, but
at least we should do our best.

My friend, Mark, explains how this
simple change in language almost tripled
his group’s results.

Isn’t that what we want?

“In studying Perry, I discovered there
are two modes of speech. One is
inclusion, the other is exclusion.

Example: Ask a kid who just walked out
of Disney World how it was and his
response will probably be, “It was

Most parents would say, “It wasn’t bad
at all. It wasn’t as crowded as I
expected, the prices were not too steep,
really not a bad deal at all.”

The child’s language is the language of
inclusion. He is telling you what is
while the parent is telling you what
isn’t. The child’s language is
constructive while the parent’s language
is constraining.

Perry points out that most adults become
habitual users of exclusion language,
which is the vocabulary of doubt,
absence, equivocation and diminution.

I was stunned as I examined this further
because the language of exclusion
creates hesitancy, anxiety and fear,
which we all know is not good for
prospects, reps we are trying to coach,
or customers.


Simply by examining everyday phrases
that I used, I was shocked to find out
how much exclusionary language I used
… Remembering that the subconscious
mind makes all the decisions, I quickly
saw why I was not getting a higher
percentage of enrollments for myself and
for my teammates.

Could it be that simple? I listened to
myself and others for about a week and
then simply changed the phrases I used
all that time from exclusionary to
inclusionary. Enrollments doubled.

Case closed.


Someone asks, “How’s it going?”

Do you say, “I can’t complain.”
Or do you say, “I feel good.”

A rep says, “Can you do this for
me?” Do you say, “No problem.”
Or do you say, “It’s a pleasure.”

When we say “No problem” we are putting
a “No” in the person’s mind and we are
putting the word “problem” in their head.
Remember the subconscious makes all the
decisions. We want them to say “Yes” but
we have put both the word “No” and the
word “problem” into their subconscious
about us.

This may seem minor. Winners use
inclusionary language and get more
enrollments. What is minor is the change
that we need to make. What is major is
the results that it yields.

Exclusion language, remember, creates
hesitancy and anxiety because it’s based
on, subconsciously, what isn’t,
couldn’t, shouldn’t, can’t and won’t.

Exclusion language vs. Inclusion

I can’t complain. Or I feel good.

I can’t argue with that. Or I agree.

I couldn’t ask for more. Or I’m pleased

I don’t see why not. Or let’s do it.

No problem. Or it’s a pleasure.

That’s not bad. Or that’s good.

That’s not what I am saying. Or here’s
what I’m saying.”


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s